Hey there, darlin'.
Getting beyond the frogs, what’s to love about using online dating to meet someone? A LOT!
In PART 1 of my Online Dating blog series, we addressed just how many frogs you might have to kiss and how to avoid kissing them at all + the many, well publicized, soul killing pitfalls of online dating today. That horror show that can be online dating can easily fuel your fears around it, and encourage a full out boycott of online dating as an arena to find love. HOWEVER, DON’T WRITE OFF ONLINE DATING! There is A LOT to love about online dating and the real deal truth? It IS legitimately where ‘everyone’ is meeting these days. That’s why I know its key for me to dispel some of the fears and frustrations for you and tune you into how online dating can be the best decision you have ever made to find love, right now.
Wanna know a few things I LOVE LOVE LOVE about online dating?
1. Volume: I LOVE MORE OF ANYTHING, BUT MORE LOVE?? SIGN ME UP! Now volume for the sake of volume when it comes to dating is NOT a good thing. Going out on as many dates as possible with anyone who asks is not only the #1 leading factor in dating burnout, it’s a total waste of your valuable time, my dear. But check it, as of last week, (in just America alone!) almost 90 million people were using online dating to meet people. AND over 15 million people report they met their current partner/husband/wife via online dating! Make that 15million and 1, cause I met my husband online and never reported it to the online dating police, doh! Here are the numbers, lady. Now, that’s what I mean by volume!
Total number of single people in the U.S. = 54,250,000
Total number of people in the U.S. who have tried online dating = 49,250,000
Total eHarmony. Match.com and Tinder = 89,575,000
(I have listed the top 3 market leaders, for volume data purposes only)
So lemme’ read that right… 91% of single people are using online dating sites/apps???? AND over 50% of them are on more than one dating site/app? So yeah… the short answer to ‘where do I meet people?’ really is, ONLINE!
2. The stigma is long gone: I LOVE THAT THE STIGMA OF ONLINE DATING IS LONG GONE! There was a time when telling anyone you were online dating or met your partner online was totally taboo. There may even still be some of you who cringe at the very idea of telling anyone you met your partner online or that you are on dating sites to meet people. When I was online dating, we were just completely breaking free from the concept that, by signing up for online dating, you were outing yourself as desperate, incapable of meeting people in the real world, or hiding an extra limb in your profile picture. Thankfully those days are but a speck in the rear view mirror. Or at least I thought so, just last week I had a client who said, in a horrified tone “but if I do meet someone online then how do I tell people we met?” Beyond the, let’s deal with that bridge when we cross it, doll…. Swerve that excuse, right now. No one cares. And, everyone is doing it. Chances are, either they will be jealous you met someone online and they haven’t yet, reply with a ‘oh,us too!’ or be inspired to finally sign up as well.
Life lesson; spend more time worrying about what YOU think about YOU and wayyyy less time on what other people think of you! BOOM!
3. Efficient use of time. I LOVE AND NEED TIME MANAGEMENT & MASTERY! I know, that sounds a bit cold. But, come on, you're a busy wonder woman gal! Do you have the time in your day to day, to actively go out to pubs, speed dating events, clubs, networking nights, meet and greets? Like, 3 -5 times a week?? No. No you do not, girl. You have an amazing, full, lush life; Career, family, friends, hobbies and a Netflix account calling your name all day, every day. By joining an online dating site, and posting a profile, you are basically sending your virtual self out to all those places you could possibly meet someone, while your real world self is kicking ass at the office, laughing with your girlfriends over a glass of wine and rocking your best fleece lined onesie on the couch re-watching The Wire or Game of Thrones, for the 4th time, because it’s that damn good. Online dating, when engaged in a healthy way, allows you to manage your time efficiently, enjoying every last drop of your life while still ‘putting yourself out there’ to love.
4. Pre-Screen the herd; I LOVE A GOOD FILTER! Filtered newsfeeds, filtered FB feeds, filtered coffee… a huge part of my work with clients is about filtering! Filter the doubts, filter the low self-esteem, define and filter what you want from a relationship. YAY FILTERS! I said it before, online dating, CAN be like wading through a plague of frogs. PLAGUE OF FROGS! And if only everyone was a hot make out session, at least there would be that bonus... but nope. Not even close. So the ability to pre-screen and filter is an epic shift in the love game. The sheer treasure trove that’s in a person’s profile takes you from screaming at someone in a loud bar trying to communicate to popping for a moment into someone’s mind and having a quiet quick peek around. Online dating profiles offer the ability to screen out some sucka’s before you waste a night out (or coffee) with them. The ease of perusing the shelf in a format that is WAY more informative and useful then scanning the club, the park or that bar full of people on a Friday night. It takes looking for love with the eyes alone, and invites the head and heart to the party as well. Depending on the online site you choose, the boxes to tick can be endless. . Oooh! And those boxes to tick, they filter like a boss. Tick, tick, tick away! Some dating sites even offer algorithms based on personality to best match people for compatibly. Me likey math! Cause, once you know what you are looking for AND why, AND master how you can spot the good and the bad, many of the online dating sites today offer incredible ability to traverse the umpteen million users on them, so you can start from the very first moment, click, or swipe, to empower your search.
5. Dating Site Options; I LOVE THE MANY OPTIONS OF DATING SITES OUT THERE ON THE INTERWEBS! Zoosk, Tinder, Eharmony, Bumble, OKCupid, PlentyofFish, Jdate, Match …to name just a few, cause the list is endless. Online dating is a 4 billion dollar a year business worldwide, and that roaring lion share of a market means the competition between these providers is stiff. Like social media sites, these companies are always improving and adding to make using the site and finding love, easier for you. Each site has their own little fingerprint of how they go about this, and navigating which ones to choose, which ones offer the best chance at finding real love in the real world can be overwhelming. Let’s conquer that!
Find out which sites I love and love the most in Part 3 of the Online dating series. I will break down what your options are, the pro’s and con’s of each so you can be empowered right down to the dating sites/apps you choose AND you might just find out why the sites you are using, aren’t working! YASSS GIRL!
See you next week lovelies!
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*All statistics and numerical data used in this blog are thanks to www.nasdaq.com www.statisticbrain.com www.pewresearch.org