For every one partnership in crisis, there are, at least, three relationships that need to be healed, within it.
It’s not unusual for me to have a clients who come on as a couple, who require a few sessions each, to themselves. Often, they don’t realise that when we have our initial consultation. However, I find it really helpful to actually separate them, before we can work together towards the healing of their relationship. Why?
There is a long list of reasons couples find themselves in crisis. Some of these we need to confront, challenge and heal as a team, whilst others can only be done by the individuals themselves. Before we can heal the relationship between them, we need to heal the relationship they have with themselves.
Only a strong, healthy individual can participate in building and sustaining a healthy partnership.
When we, as individuals, lose our identity and self-esteem, to marriage and family, to our jobs and roles as providers, to being carers, bouts of depression, and to the many life changes that can consume us… like losing family members, building a business, children leaving the home for university, changing careers, retirement… we have to focus first on our relationship with ourselves, before we can truly address the issues within our partnership.
It is my job, as a coach, to help re-awaken not just the love you have for each other but the love for you have for yourself, too.
Many of clients, not only are lacking in the self love department, their basic self-care has disappeared into the hustle bustle of life. We cannot offer water to others, when our vessel is empty.
In order to really dig into self-love and self care, we must first get down to the worthy work of identifying your core values and the action it takes to live in alignment so we are thriving as person, not just as a couple.
When we are living a life, aligned with our values, we are at our most happy, content and fulfilled… and we easily open up to new possibilities and to the power of healing.
Are you living and loving your best life as an individual?
If not, living and loving your best life as a couple, will never happen. #truestory
Before I run back off to fighting that good fight for love with my private clients... I want to send a special message to my beloved LGBTQ tribe of followers.
Photo by Yannis Papanastasopoulos on Unsplash