Gratitude as a relationship saver, yay or nay?

I’m a big fan of gratitude.  Practicing gratitude can begin as easily as taking a few moments to list out everything we are grateful for, the good things in our lives, our partners and in our partnerships.  By the time we call out even 7 or 10 items,  our perspective of ourselves, our relationship and even the world we live in can shift dramatically.  .  Practicing gratitude can do us a necessary favour of balancing the scales of what is going wrong and what is going right. This perspective shift, releases serotonin in the brain, which floods our senses with the feelings of pleasure and happiness

Powerful stuff, for sure. 

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

HOWEVER… Utilising gratitude in this manner often offers a short term solution to a much longer term problem.  

Gratitude is an action word. 

Gratitude is NOT an inanimate list we possess, to be looked at whenever we need a pick me up or some perspective.

Gratitude is NOT a state of being as a result of making lists of items we are grateful. 

Gratitude is NOT a statement of intention, a bold claim we offer ourselves and others. 

GRATITUDE IS A VERB, and it only truly exists through our actions. 

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To truly bring a practice of gratitude into our relationships, means a daily ritual of action. It requires making firm decisions to act, respond and engage differently.  How do we harness gratitude, to exact tangible change in how we move through the world, through our love?  

If you are unsure on how to answer that question, how to DO different, to shift life long, relationship long learned behaviours, in order to express gratitude in action and save your partnership…  I can help. 

Gratitude in action for me, looks like teaching others the hard won tools I have learned over years of study, professional practice and personal failures and successes, to transform how my clients give, receive, respond and engage with love.    I offer a Relationships 101 of sorts, to help people create clear effective communication, healthy conflict resolution, respect for themselves and their partners, and a much needed resurgence of kindness and compassion.   The tools necessary to truly take that momentary boost of gratitude and turn it into a well oiled practice of gratitude that revolutionises how we live and love.

Sound like something worth exploring, dearest one? 

Book in your FREE Breakthrough to Love call, and we can spend some time discussing how our can move towards one another again. 

Self Care During Crisis Tip#4 - Gratitude!

Today's Tip for self care during crisis, is one centered in gratitude.

We are all experiencing this pandemic collectively, at once yet each of our experiences will vary.  Some of us are simply working from home, instead of at the office, some are living in lock down, self isolating, temporarily out of work, quarantined or working like crazy in essential services,
REGARDLESS OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS... I wanted to take some time to offer whatever help I could. 


I was speaking to a dear friend last week, she is a first year nursing student, and her placement was moved up to work in a hospital for on the job training, due to Covid 19.   On her first day, ever... she witnessed someone die from this virus.  She had never seen anyone die before, let alone on her very first day, overwhelmed in the busy ICU, and it was traumatic.  

Life is short.  No one of us knows the expiration date, even those who are diagnosed with terminal illnesses are given approximations of how much time is left.

Shortly after I hung up with my friend, the UK hung out their windows, came out on their front steps and out on their balconies to cheer for the NHS staff, carers and front line workers.  It was a tearjerker, an overwhelming coming together of giving thanks.

Her story, and this outpouring of support, got me diving deeply into gratitude.

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

I'm count myself very fortunate, that I was introduced to the concept of gratitude and gratitude lists in my late teens.  For over 20 years I have experiences the profound impact gratitude can have on my perspective, mental health and well being.

Gratitude does not solve problems, it will not erase the bad things happening.  What gratitude does is right size my thinking and my focus.  It is a strong reminder that, even on the days I feel like the world is going to hell in a handbag, my entire life isn't!

Today, I invite you to utilize gratitude as an act of great care for yourself during these traumatic and unusual times.

It's an easy thing to do, super quick, and change how you are feeling right side round.

Start, end or stop your day and do a gratitude list! 

Call out 10 things you are thankful for, now more than ever. 

I do strongly recommend you do this in writing.  Or open up the notes app on your phone, and type away.

The neuroscience between the connection and internalization of information when we write it down, is well proven.   It also makes us really stop the hamster wheel of thoughts and focus.

Here is my Gratitude List for today, I hope it inspires you to write your own, and as always, feel free to hit the reply button and send it to me.

Today, I am grateful for....

1. My health!

2. My partner's health!

3. My families & friend's health!

4. The internet and divine connection it is giving me to friends, family and clients during this lock down world I now live in.

5. That my partner was freaking out about this pandemic 6 weeks ago and 'made' me go out and buy anti bac gel, wipes and some canned goods.  I was humoring him at the time, trying to ease his anxiety... he was soooooo right!

6. Some downtime to write YOU more emails like this and to finally do the hard graft of putting together an online version of my coaching!

7. My girl gang of singles over at the Feminista Seeks Love fb group, we are holding each other in a very special sacred space right now.

8. We have all the food we need.  So many people are not in that same situation!

9. That no more what life has thrown at me, I have always bounced back.  And no matter what happens next, I know I can do it again!

10. My incredible, solid citizen, husband. He is the calm in the storm!

11. That I did not kill him during his first week of working from home, talking loudly and leaving dishes everywhere, at the desk next to mine. He is truly a keeper!

12. For our little dog Parker, who is the ultimate therapy dog at times like this!

13. That I have the ability and kindness to help out my elderly neighbors.

14. For my fab job, of helping people love and be loved!  What a dream and a gift!

Wow, I blew past 10, right to 14, easy peasy!  And, you can too!



Give it a try, xx

As always I hope this message inspires you to take care of yourself during this crisis. 



And remember, self care also looks like THIS right now!

Photo by Sandie Clarke on Unsplash