Tis' the Season to find LOVE

I won’t sugar coat this for you,  December – March is my busiest time of year, for dating coaching clients.  It can be very lonely to be single this time of year, between random relatives asking if you are seeing anyone special followed by the ol’ ‘you gotta put yourself out there’ parting jab...  a ball dropping on New Years and no kiss in sight and then just when you think you made it out alive, hells bells(!!) freaking Valentines day comes trouncing into town like a toddler hopped up on sugar.  Cue massive eyeroll !

And I know it sounds  bit crazy to tell you this, BUT the holiday season is a great time to be single…

And whilst yes, watching couples smooch under mistletoe doesn’t feel like something to celebrate, here is exactly why it can be an incredible time to be out and about dating.  Read my top 3 reasons the holiday season is a great time to be single here

Top 3 Reasons the holiday season is a great time be single:

1.       ‘A time to spread goodwill and cheer’  There is something magical and festive about this time of year, that puts everyone in a more social mood. We have dinners and parties to attend, shopping to do and a feeling of getting the most out of the end of the year.  This means most people are more ‘up’ for going out, meeting up and have a unconscious drive to have a good time.

2.       ‘Busy time of the year’   For many of you, this is a very busy time of the year  Whether that be lots of evenings booked up with festivities or end of year deadlines looming.  One of the best tips I give my clients using online dating is to switch out a traditional first date for a much more casual and short ‘first meet’.    Setting up a 30 minute cup of coffee, glass of wine or hot chocolate by the Christmas tree in town gives us just enough time to get a much needed face to face first impression and confirm (or deny) what we saw online with in person reality.  It also dials back all the pressure and build up we can sometimes place on a longer first date, which helps us to ease any anxiety.   And, its way easier to propose this by saying something like… ‘weeks busy with Christmas parties but I would love to meet up!  How about we meet any such and such place for a quick this and that before I have to be at FILL IN THE BLANK party?’   And hey, bonus points if who shows up, barely resembles their online pics AND has the real life personality of a wet mop, cause you are not committed to, nor trying to figure our how to get out of a typical 1-2 hour date.

 

3.       ‘Say cheese!’  You know what else is a glorious by product of this time of year?  Great profile pic update opportunities as you sashay around town, a bit more glammed up, and filled with that certain confident festive sass than usual. Before the drinks get the better of everyone, grab that co-worker at the office Christmas party and gave them take some fun new pics for your dating profile.

Wishing you all the love this holiday season and as always remember, YOU ARE THE GREATEST GIFT anyone can find under the tree! xx

Want my help navigating the wilds of modern dating? Book in your FREE Breankthrough To Love call so we can chat. Happy Holidays!

Has lock down changed dating? [LOVE LETTER}

I am gleefully easing back into our normally scheduled program @ Love Letters, as the light of the lock down tunnel grows brighter.  You will still see some Self Care During Crisis tips being sent out, which I truly hope has helped to ease your path with some much needed coping skills during this pandemic, but it's time to jump back in to the love talk, with both feet baby!

So how has lock down changed the dating world?  And, what extended impact will Covid 19 have on your search for love, moving forward?


This has been a crazy couple of months, and for many the initial reaction to facing lock down was 'Whelp. there goes any chance of a love life!'  

However that couldn't be further from the truth.   Love always finds a way.  

I have had so many clients navigating dating during lock down, and discovering there are some huge pluses. 

How has the world of dating weathered a pandemic?  

Well, it's actually flourished!  This, is how and why.

Photo by Allie on Unsplash

THE HOW:

Ya' know how it feels like all your days are spend on video calls lately?  Along with work meetings and family calls, that's where dating moved too.  Zoom, Whatsapp Video Calls, Facetime, you name it, people have been meeting up to have a date on it.  And I do mean, dates... some go as far as making dinners to eat across a candle lit screen together! 

It may sound strange, even crazy.  You may be reading this with a wrinkled 'oh no I won't' nose right now... but it's happening and you are missing out on something truly transformational in online dating, since the first online dating app launched!
What is really lovely about this new pandemic wave format of dating, is that it pumps the breaks on the physical aspect and can super charge the intimacy building aspect of dating, which we have all been missing!

You can actually spend quality time, talking to someone and not just worried if they want a one night stand.

I have guided many of my private clients to up their virtual dates, by doing an online pub quiz, or doing a game night... either by participating in the loads being put on by others, or creating a game to be played just the two of them.  And, beyond raising the fun factor, it's made each of them feel like they actually went out for a night! 

('Going out' what are those words I am saying? I mean, i can't remember what 'Going Out' or 'Plans For the Evening' even mean anymore lol)

The dating industry, has followed virtual suit.  Moving speed dating and singles nights online, with great success.

People are finding that taking a physical step back from face to face dates, has proven to be a massive step forward in building more authentic connections.



Is it solely just online dating, extending to further 'online' dating? 

Many people are have 3-6 virtual dates and then, depending on how well those go, moving to meeting people in real time.  SAFELY!

This is a virus no one wants to mess with, and social distancing is proven to stop the spread.  So how do you date, while socially distancing?

Here are some great ideas, that people are loving right now AND are safe to pursue.

Original Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

SOCIALLY DISTANCED...

• Park Walks! 

• Picnics!

• Sunset drinks!

• Going for a run!

• Gazebo BYOB cocktails!

Outdoor dates are fab, because not only are you keeping healthy by staying 2 meters/6 feet away, you are in a well ventilated atmosphere.  Make sure you bring your own picnic or drinks and stay within the recommended Covid guidelines.



One of the greatest tools for dealing with attachment issues that cause us to go a bit crazy with fantasy OR get our running shoes on, is to slllllooowwwww down.   And this pandemic has slowed down dating, and the results can be pretty magnificent.

Photo by Kimberly Mears on Unsplash

So WHY is lock down changing the dating game and driving more authentic connections than ever?
​​First and foremost, the chemicals released on the brain during crisis, are EXTREMELY similar to those released when we fall in love.

Seeking out alliances, connections and community is a natural survival response to threat.  There is more power in numbers.   Back at the beginning of this whole mess, I sent out a love letter warning against falling in love too quickly during a pandemic, with very good reason.

HOWEVER,  it's not all bad. 
​
I know this pandemic has created an opportunity for many of us to take stock, re-evaluate and re-group around what's really important in life. This will naturally extend to our love lives, as well.   Its been a scary few months, and facing it alone, can really spot light our singleton status. Isolation during lock down, brings the very natural human emotion of loneliness right to the forefront for everyone, regardless of relationship status.  

The long lasting impact as we come out of Covid 19,  will be desiring connection and partnership will rise up.  People will be dating more intentionally and with a greater sense of purpose.



If you are already on the virtual dating train, I would love to hear some of your stories.  If you feel inspired by this email to jump in with both feet...

COMMENT BELOW… OR join us over at our girl gang fb group, click here ----> FEMINISTA SEEKS LOVE.

FREE Self Care During Crisis Series - Come Join us!

Well, life as we know it got real interesting real quick, didn't it?!?! 

I hope this blog finds you and yours, safe and healthy. 

Many of you are self isolating, quarantined, working from home, trying not to kill your partners as you both work from home (including me!!), feeling alone and extra EXTRA single right now, or working like a mad person in the medical field and service industries... AND ALL OF US, are faced with something, that in our lifetime, we have never faced before!

When faced with extreme uncertainty and heightened tensions on our timelines and news feeds, some of our anxiety levels are sky rocketing.  Some of us are burrowing deeply into denial.  While others are out panic buying all the toilet paper!  YIKES!

We need self care, more than ever right now.  To that end, I will be running a LIVE video series over in 'Feminista Seeks Love' facebook group for all my single ladies. 

Join us in the FEMINISTA SEEKS LOVE facebook group for this Self Care Series!

For those who do not fall into that category, you are still quite loved by me, my darling, AND I will be emailing you more regularly, with self care tips and tools.

My hope is to offer you as much support, care, and kindness over the coming weeks, as is within my gift to do so! 

If you are in the fabulous single ladies club, BUT you are not already a member of my fb group of like minded badasses, please do join us below.



If not, stay tuned here on the blog, as I offer us as much tools as I can muster for you to be kinder to yourself and take the greatest care in this time of crisis.   xx

Your Singleton's Valentines Survival Guide

Welcome To Your Singleton Valentines Day Survival Guide or...dare I say it THRIVAL guide?!? 

Heck Yes!

Yup, just a couple of weeks, till one of the most dreaded holidays of the singles calendar is upon us!  Yikes! 

And even though we know that V Day is a ridiculously commercialized money grabbing holiday, we still feel it.  It’s one of those annual days in the year where being without a partner, seems rubbed in our faces, in a special kinda hell way.

As tempting as it is, to dissociate from this whole day via a good head in the sand, there are sooooo many better options!

A large part of my coaching work with my single clients, focuses them in on living their best SINGLE life.  When we are happy, healthy and content on our own, we attract other happy healthy and content people...however this is also about stepping in the abundant belief that one day, this single life WILL be over… so we better enjoy it while it lasts!  Woot!

To that end, I gift thee this week, with the ultimate Valentines Survival Guide for those who are currently single.  No longer, does the 14th of February have to live in infamy within our minds and hearts!  

1.  The Anti-Valentines route

Attend an Anti Valentines party with Bumble.  The worldwide dating app Bumble, hosts some pretty fun Anti Valentines events so check out to see where they are doing one local to you.  Similarly, other dating apps, like Match, RevL etc.. also usually host parties too.  OR, just google 'Anti Valentines near me', and see what revelry stands out in the search result

2. A very Doggy Valentines

Take your sweet pupper to a doggie Valentines Day Event.

Oh hell yes, these exist.  And it can be a great way for you to not only honor your beloved dog on this special day, but also get swamped with doggy kisses from all in attendance.  And hey, maybe you’ll meet an owner or two, who is just your type too.

3. Dance, Dance, Dance!

Dance the night away!   One of my favorites is the Yonce Anti Valentines Day night in East London.  I mean, hello?  Dance the night away to Beyonce?!?!  Yes please!  

Grab some friends and head out for a night of some serious booty shaking fun.

4. Attend A Singles Event

Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

Singles Events are bountiful the weekend of Valentines day.  A quick browse of Designmynight . com or Timeout quickly reveals just how popular this option is on Valentines Day.   Head out into the wilds to bravely meet other singles, who are looking for love on Valentines.

5. Pamper Yourself!

Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

Check in for a oh so necessary afternoon at the spa, book in a massage, book in a yoga or meditation class or retreat, or simply set up the ultimate pamper night at home complete with a long bath bomb soap, champagne and a face mask.

6. Do something on Your Singles Bucket List

Image by Shutterbug75 from Pixabay

Do a crazy or self indulgent thing that is possible, because you ARE single!

Book a sky dive, drive a super car, go on a weekend city break, head off to the mountains for some skiing, go see the super sappy movie, or an all day rave…book in the kind of thing that you CAN do, because there is no other half to check in with, or kids to worry about!


Going on a solo adventure not an option?  Calling all my Single Mum’s and Dad's!  Book in a fab valentines adventure with your kids!  They qualify for ‘love of your life’ status, so why not?!?!

7. Get Your PALentines on!

Photo by AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash

Skip the GAL only and gather for ALL your single fabulous pals for a night out or in.  Grab those single girlfriends, guy friends and non binary pals and head out for a nice dinner, some drinks or even better have a Palentines potluck complete with signature singleton cocktail (or mocktail) for a great night in, with some of your besties.

Hey, some of our truest soul mates in this life, are platonic lovelies, and they deserve all my love on Valentines day!

So, yeah. Greeting Valentines by closing your eyes, placing your hands firmly over your ears whilst chanting LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU!’, is NOT your only option!

I hope this Love Letter inspires your to change up your V Day routine.

What are YOU going to do for Valentines day, dearest one?

Comment and inspire us!

Your Guide To THRIVING This Valentines Day, SingleAF!

My darling fierce single ladies, 

Oh my, here it comes.  Do you see it?  It’s Valentine’s Day… and it’s here to puke heart shaped everything, ALL OVER YOU AGAIN!  

And I know, that you know, that I know, that YOU KNOW... Valentine’s Day is an uber capitalist, made up holiday designed to monetize love and yet… YOU STILL FEEL IT!  Right there, like punch to your very single heart! 

It’s a jungle out there today in modern love and dating; swipe after soul crushing swipe is getting you know where closer to finding that extraordinary partner to share your already amazing life with, or heck even go on a second date!

Just when you’ve bravely survived the holiday season and New Year’s.

Just when you start to grasp onto some of those ‘New Year, New You’ resolutions with some manner of tightness…

 

Lord, help us all, is that FEBRUARY 14 upon us, already?!?!

Babes, I got you.  As your personal feminist LOVE COACH allow me to offer up some incredibly tried and true options, that my clients absolutely love when the dreaded Valentines Day comes knocking in its pink sparkly onsie, that will keep all the angst and despair at bay!   I mean, hey now, at least there’s loads of chocolate on sale come Feb 15th HOWEVER, let’s find more than discounted chocolate covered yumminess as consolation prize, shall we?   Actually, F@CK THAT, Let’s not just survive V Day, LET’S THRIVE!

I have put together a neat little list of ideas for you to actually look forward to February 14th AND I’ve even combed through all the muck, mire and heart covered BS of events on offer in London, for some truly unforgettable SINGELTON Valentines Night out!   

Not in London?  Use this list as inspiration, as you let your fingers do the walking all over that blank google box, cause a lot of the ideas are not tied to location and events just like the ones I mention are happening in a city near you, too!

(p.s. I’ve also included a little of heart shaped Valentine Gift from moi’ to you, at the end of this article.  That’s right, I’m sending you all the love, in the form of some real time tools to help you find and attract the partner you really want, and deserve!)

Get your Wonder Woman boots out of the closet, dearest one… WE’RE ABOUT TO SUPER POWER OUR WAY THROUGH V DAY, SingleAF! 

V DAY THRIVE OPTION 1; 

Get all GALENTINES DAY on it's ass!

Photo credit; levi-guzman via Unsplash

Get together with the current loves of your life, your other fab single GF’s, and celebrate each other!  Yup. There is more than just either being in a relationship OR avoiding Feb 14th like it’s a plague.  In fact, there is a whole diaspora of amazingness on the spectrum between those two traditional V Day options.

Here are some #squadgoals AKA Galentines Day ideas to inspire you;

• MOVIE NIGHT;  Take in a movie on Feb 14th with your squad!

Winchester; Why yes,  I will indeed coven up with my ladies and join Dame Helen Mirren for a night of frightful movie going!  That’s right, no weepy rom-com, which frankly is part of the messaging that is killing modern love and dating anyways, and let’s go right to some good ol’ horror. 

50 Shades FREED -  I mean come on, it’s the ultimate chick flick anyways, so why not get your entourage up and out, and drooling a bit over Cristian Gray??

• Host A Dating Horror Story Awards Night

Have a pot luck dinner party with ALL your single friends, girls, boys and beyond the binary, where each one has to tell TWO of their own dating horror stories.  The Winner with the most cringeworthy story gets a plastic bedazzled crown and hailed as the Ultimate Date Fail Queen/King!

• Get em' up and out!

 Check out one of the many Anti-Valentine’s parties happening in your area. I’ve curated my top picks happening in London, just for you!

1. The empowered women of BUMBLE is hosting an Anti- Valentines event @ one of my fav spots for a bit of fun, BOUNCE! Get your ping pong skills set to ninja!  MORE DETAILS ON THIS EVENT HERE

2. Celebrate Galentines Day by letting your real soul sister, QUEEN BEY, be your guide for some late night single shenanigans!  The Yonce 'Valentines Day' Experiecne @ XOYO on Wed 1r4th of Februart will be playing Beyonce tunes from 10pm -3am, NON STOP! All my singles ladies, UNITE

DETAILS ON EVENT HERE

Or push yourself way outside your postal code… Did somebody say ROAD TRIP??

Hit up skyscanner or whatever your preferred flight app is and play a game of Flight Yahtzee!  Select up to £40 for return flight, and spin the wheel of chance. Then randomly choose a city break based solely on the flights in that price range.  Rock up as a truly empowered INDEPENDENT LADY solo or grab a bestie and wander a new city together.

V DAY THRIVE OPTION 2;

THE REAL QUESTION...

Can you FIND LOVE on Valentines Day?!?!

photo credit; Mayur Gala via Unsplash

If you’re game to find out… Here are some really interesting singles events happening on Valentines Day, for the SingleAF out there in the wilds of modern love & dating!

1. FUCK TINDER

A speed dating comedy show! 

After two completely sold out runs in Australia, as well as sold out shows in Singapore & Edinburgh, f**k Tinder is returning to London.Designed to get single people together to have a good night out, chat to interesting people and do a lot of laughing.  FYI Tickets go fast to these events, cause they’re just that good!   MORE DETAILS FOR EVENT HERE

2. BAES R US

The folks over at BAES R US, have Vday Speed dating nights spanning the Valentine Day period for whatever your sexual preference.  Baes R Us is a fun and fast alternative to the tyranny of Tinder nightmares offering a modern twist on romance. Meet like-minded young creatives offline in a relaxed & cozy setting; the smoothest selections of music all evening, let loose ice-breakers + free cocktail on entry.  (14/02 is Gay, 15/02 is Lesbian, 16/02 is Str8 night)  MORE EVENT DETAILS HERE

3. GET AN EXPERT IN! 

Join ME for a FREE Online Masterclass on Sunday the 18th of February @ 8pm UK (3pm EST / 12 noon PST) as I dish out some of my absolute top tips to starting BOSSING Online Dating!  I will show you how to stop the confidence killing swipefest that is online dating in its tracks and start getting out on real dates with the right people for you, FAST!  I

LEARN MORE AND CLAIM YOUR SPOT HERE

My darlings, it’s time, to push way past your old mode of coping, by simply trudging through Valentines Day like February 14th is just another day, and you are all out of f@cks to give. 

If we want something different, we are going to have to do something different, to get there! 

Spread your strong, independent woman wings, and FLY! 

(*Please note; I am NOT, in any way, associated with the above events or event curators, nor financially benefited by your attendance in any way.  Just being your opinionated, benevolently pushy (ahem, American) LOVE COACH, filtering though all that’s out there to present you with some of the best options on offer)