One of the most popular complaints I hear from people, is they can’t seem to get past a first date. I hope these three tips facilitate some tangible change in how you are approaching and engaging with your very next, first date!
Has lock down changed dating? [LOVE LETTER}
I am gleefully easing back into our normally scheduled program @ Love Letters, as the light of the lock down tunnel grows brighter. You will still see some Self Care During Crisis tips being sent out, which I truly hope has helped to ease your path with some much needed coping skills during this pandemic, but it's time to jump back in to the love talk, with both feet baby!
So how has lock down changed the dating world? And, what extended impact will Covid 19 have on your search for love, moving forward?
This has been a crazy couple of months, and for many the initial reaction to facing lock down was 'Whelp. there goes any chance of a love life!'
However that couldn't be further from the truth. Love always finds a way.
I have had so many clients navigating dating during lock down, and discovering there are some huge pluses.
How has the world of dating weathered a pandemic?
Well, it's actually flourished! This, is how and why.
THE HOW:
Ya' know how it feels like all your days are spend on video calls lately? Along with work meetings and family calls, that's where dating moved too. Zoom, Whatsapp Video Calls, Facetime, you name it, people have been meeting up to have a date on it. And I do mean, dates... some go as far as making dinners to eat across a candle lit screen together!
It may sound strange, even crazy. You may be reading this with a wrinkled 'oh no I won't' nose right now... but it's happening and you are missing out on something truly transformational in online dating, since the first online dating app launched!
What is really lovely about this new pandemic wave format of dating, is that it pumps the breaks on the physical aspect and can super charge the intimacy building aspect of dating, which we have all been missing!
You can actually spend quality time, talking to someone and not just worried if they want a one night stand.
I have guided many of my private clients to up their virtual dates, by doing an online pub quiz, or doing a game night... either by participating in the loads being put on by others, or creating a game to be played just the two of them. And, beyond raising the fun factor, it's made each of them feel like they actually went out for a night!
('Going out' what are those words I am saying? I mean, i can't remember what 'Going Out' or 'Plans For the Evening' even mean anymore lol)
The dating industry, has followed virtual suit. Moving speed dating and singles nights online, with great success.
People are finding that taking a physical step back from face to face dates, has proven to be a massive step forward in building more authentic connections.
Is it solely just online dating, extending to further 'online' dating?
Many people are have 3-6 virtual dates and then, depending on how well those go, moving to meeting people in real time. SAFELY!
This is a virus no one wants to mess with, and social distancing is proven to stop the spread. So how do you date, while socially distancing?
Here are some great ideas, that people are loving right now AND are safe to pursue.
Original Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
SOCIALLY DISTANCED...
Park Walks!
Picnics!
Sunset drinks!
Going for a run!
Gazebo BYOB cocktails!
Outdoor dates are fab, because not only are you keeping healthy by staying 2 meters/6 feet away, you are in a well ventilated atmosphere. Make sure you bring your own picnic or drinks and stay within the recommended Covid guidelines.
One of the greatest tools for dealing with attachment issues that cause us to go a bit crazy with fantasy OR get our running shoes on, is to slllllooowwwww down. And this pandemic has slowed down dating, and the results can be pretty magnificent.
Photo by Kimberly Mears on Unsplash
So WHY is lock down changing the dating game and driving more authentic connections than ever?
First and foremost, the chemicals released on the brain during crisis, are EXTREMELY similar to those released when we fall in love.
Seeking out alliances, connections and community is a natural survival response to threat. There is more power in numbers. Back at the beginning of this whole mess, I sent out a love letter warning against falling in love too quickly during a pandemic, with very good reason.
HOWEVER, it's not all bad.
I know this pandemic has created an opportunity for many of us to take stock, re-evaluate and re-group around what's really important in life. This will naturally extend to our love lives, as well. Its been a scary few months, and facing it alone, can really spot light our singleton status. Isolation during lock down, brings the very natural human emotion of loneliness right to the forefront for everyone, regardless of relationship status.
The long lasting impact as we come out of Covid 19, will be desiring connection and partnership will rise up. People will be dating more intentionally and with a greater sense of purpose.
If you are already on the virtual dating train, I would love to hear some of your stories. If you feel inspired by this email to jump in with both feet...
COMMENT BELOW… OR join us over at our girl gang fb group, click here ----> FEMINISTA SEEKS LOVE.
Discover Relationship Saving, Connection Boosting, Date Nights
Ahhhh “Date Nights”, it’s the calling card of most relationship experts and magazine fodder to couples who are struggling to connect.
Sure, you started out on this road side by side, and then life does what life does. Careers take off, layoffs happen, family members get ill, bills mount, adorable kids rampage, after school activities take over, and first, you met those challenges together. Then, needs must, and you split your resources to head off to put out one fire or another whilst the other did the same and now, you feel so very far apart, you’re not sure how you are ever going to meet in the middle and connect again
Date nights DO work!
Quality time is indeed remedy. Emphasis on the QUALITY.
And on some nights, a blissful night of watching your fav shows will suffice however in this weeks LOVE LETTER I want to offer you up some serious supercharge ideas to true connection that will traverse the chasm and endear you and your partner to each other much more significantly.
For most of us, date nights are stolen dinners out, hopefully not looking at our phones, and often fraught with keeping the convo engaged and inspired. We promise to NOT talk about the kids, or work but then… WTAF is there left to talk about?!?
Let’s take this whole DATE NIGHT concept, and dust off the cobwebs!
Photo by Isaiah McClean on Unsplash
Studies have shown that when people participate in an activity together, a unique bond that is formed. And BOND is powerful connection.
Bronze star to activities you already both enjoy together.
Silver star if one partner is introducing a passion to another.
And holy smoke level gold stars for activities that are new to both partners!
Dance class is a classic, heck, many a rom-com has even featured it HOWEVER there is so much more than that cliché date night to be had.
AJ Garcia via Unpslash.com
Here are some shiny star ideas to jump start you into your very next date night! From those that cost the big bucks to some that cost little to nothing.
Grab each other close, & set date night mode to EXPLORE;
Cooking Classes
Cocktail making classes
Lectures
Personal Development Courses
Music Lessons
Walking Tour of Your City
Museum Tours
Surf Lessons
Race Car Driving Experiences
Zip Line Experience
Continuing Education Courses
Kite Surfing Lesson
Fishing Day Trip
Art classes
Boudoir Photo-shoot
Golf Driving Range Night
Photo by sept commercial on Unsplash
We want to curate date nights that give us more to talk about and/or create magical moments of play and laughter and/or bond us as we are first timers together.
I know some of the above ideas, will be a trifecta for many of you!
Now, take the above, let your fingers to the walking on Google, check out groupon, and even your local town hall board and supercharge your next date night.
Which heart connecting idea will you choose? comment below!
P.S. And to all my fab singletons reading this... erm HELLLLLO great 3rd, 4th and 5th date ideas that pack some serious connection punch right here! Begin as you mean to go on, dearest ones. xx
